Category: Uncategorized


Annie’s steps to recovery from anger

So, I haven’t posted in awhile. I was reading my old old old journal entries and I came upon something that I wrote on September 26, 2006. That was when we started living at Lester! Hehe, at that time I was going through a phase where a lot of things bothered me, and I would get upset or pissed off easily. Then apparently I had an epiphany and found the solution to my anger. You might find it helpful too, or it might be complete BS. Take a look anyway 😀 Omitting the introduction of the details of things that made me angry, here is the exact wording of…ANNIE’S STEPS TO HER RECOVERY!!!


(Disclaimer: This hasn’t really been tried. It was thought of, and Annie merely wants to write it down. It may or may not be stupid. Try or not try. Don’t blame if it IS stupid.)

1. It is okay to be angry. Try not to bother people but when you can’t contain it, let it out, for goodness’ sake.

2. There are friends whom you can trust and talk to, even rant to. Not ALL of your friends are such. Identify these good friends for the hell of it and TALK TO THEM. Well, talk to them if you want to. Chances are, they don’t mind! They WANT to listen and help. Talk to ONLY those identified individuals. Others don’t give a damn and will probably give you negative comments anyway. Don’t bother.

3. If you need to take a shower, take it. Don’t let MSN messages stop you. Tell everyone “brb” and take the damn shower.

4. When showering, THINK. It is always good to think in the shower and the water often acts as an agent to wash away any grief and anger. Think and REFLECT. Why are you angry? Is there a reason? Is this a legitimate reason?

5. Know that when emotions are bottled up for longer periods of time, it is easier to explode and blame everyone else. Realize that sometimes YOU are wrong too. Sometimes your complaints may be childish and you have no right to blame.

6. If you are mad at anyone, think of his/her good points, how he/she makes you happy, or how you sometimes make he/she unhappy too. Accept, compromise, forgive, and forget. Be quiet for a few hours and eventually you’ll start to miss him/her and it’ll be so easy to forgive. Hell you might not even remember why you are mad.

7. Remember that you CANNOT change anyone. Don’t get frustrated at this fact. It is part of life. No one said it’s easy to deal with other people.

8. Finally, don’t forget that you have friends to enjoy your time with. Also, there are so many people in this world who love you so much. They don’t want to hurt you, and if they did so unintentionally, they are sorry for it. Go have fun and laugh and live life without grief and regret.

Advertisements

Grudges

I shall revive our blog! With a post confessing some grudges that’s been in my heart lately. I am amazed at how “siu hey” i can be sometimes – and more amazing at how God can forgive without holding grudges at all.

With the wedding being 80 days away – I guess I’m starting to realize that Darwin’s family will soon by my family too. Totally not use to the idea of thinking about his mom as my “lai lai”. We’ve had our differences in the past few years as you know, but I’m sometimes irritated by her comments still. As much as i don’t want the classic mother & daughter in law difficult relationship with Darwin caught in the middle, I’m afraid that’s where we’re headed – unless I can open my heart up to God and ask for him to teach me how to put down my grudges (run on sentence lol).

In my heart, I remember how when we were in 2nd and 3rd year – my parents had gone back to China and I had nowhere to really stay in when I went back “home” on the weekends. I had my grandma (that I don’t get along well with – that’s for another post really) who was renting a room in someone’s house. I came back really just to see Darwin, and she kept insisting about how “inappropriate” it was for me to stay at her house (despite the fact that there were many beds available and it was only for 2 nights at most). I’ve probably already ranted to you about this, but as you can see its’ still on my heart. Then when Jeff’s girlfriend turns up she opens her doors and invites her to stay over because her home was too far away. -_____-” Yes I am siu hey, see I am holding grudges. Secretly I say to myself I will never ever stay over at her place in my life – and nor will Darwin after we get married.

And lately she’s been trying to invite the world to our wedding (with a super limited seating of 150 at the banquet). Darwin and I had finalized the guest list and printed names on the invites accordingly. I’m sorry but she can’t just include whoever she wants or adjust the guest list. This is as much my wedding as it is Darwin’s wedding, and for some reason we are already inviting her boss & her boss’s husband/wife whom I’ve never met before – why??

It’s extremely frustrating. I am as angry at myself as I am angry with her. If that makes any sense. @_@

Life is LOL

Been blah lately but tonight I realized that life is really LOL.

The two friends that I trusted and love so much, both became the ones that struck me the hardest. Whether intentional or not, it freaking hurts, man.

Is this some funny joke to You, God?

But that’s okay. What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.

1000 Awesome Things

Today’s the greatest day you’ve ever lived.

Today’s the only day you’ve ever lived.

The past is gone, the future is far, nothing else matters, except where you are.

AWESOME!

Wow! The Book of (Even More) Awesome debuts at #1 in paperback! 

Live in Toronto? Join me on Wednesday!

Thank you to the talented Misty Harris for a great tribute to 1000 Awesome Things.

 

Photo from: here

View original post

朋友.珍惜你所擁有的

近愚者蠢,近智者慧,近貧者窮,近富者貴。 --“近朱者赤,近墨者黑”後面沒有講完的話。

快樂是懂得放棄。放棄也是一種智慧,懂得放棄你也能尋獲另一種釋然的快樂。人生有時就是如此,你不能背負著你所有想要的東西走完人生的全程。所以如果想要達成目標,就必須有所捨棄。把與內心無關的,紛亂的雜念和慾望捨棄,眼中只有你想要達成的目標,這樣才容易成功。

不能吃虧為聰明,願吃虧是智慧;拿得起是聰明,放得下是智慧;聰明知識多,智慧文化廣;聰明保全眼前,智慧著重長遠;聰明靠耳眼耳聰目明,智慧靠心慧由心生;聰明人嘴忙是茶壺,智者耳忙是茶杯,茶壺之水終入杯;聰明是能力智慧是境界;聰明得於遺傳智慧緣於修煉;聰明十中有一,智慧百里無一。

知道時間不可能停留,就沒有必要傷春悲秋;知道感情不可能刻意,就不會為了誰尋死覓活;知道孤獨總是如影隨形的,就不會在某一些時刻難以自製;知道遺忘總是必然的,就不會為一時的忘卻傷感;知道過去始終是存在的,就沒有必要遮掩和炫耀;知道美好總會在將來的某一刻消逝,就要好好把握現在的每一刻。

生命中,你我所走過的每一個地方,每一個人,也許都將成為驛站、成為過客,一向喜歡追憶,喜歡回顧,喜歡不忘記。如今卻發現,深刻在心裡的那些東西,早已在他們的時間裡化成遺忘。—— 不要讓心太累,不要追想太多已經不屬於自己的人和事。

人生就是一列開往墳墓的列車,路途上會有很多站口,沒有一個人可以至始至終陪著你走完,你會看到來來往往、上上下下的人。如果幸運,會有人陪你走過一段,當這個人要下車的時候,即使不捨,也該心存感激,然後揮手道別,因為,說不定下一站會有另外一個人會陪你走的更遠。

善於開解自己,善於頓悟自己,善於解脫自己,善於開導自己,善於解析自己,善於安慰自己,善於摒棄自己,善於挖苦自己,善於諷刺自己,善於清醒自己,善於警醒自己,善於要求自己,善於提高自己,善於貶低自己,善於勸慰自己,善於認識自己,善於權衡自己,善於掂量自己,善於看清自己,善於思考自己。

當明天變成了今天成為了昨天,最後成為記憶裡不再重要的某一天,我們突然發現自己在不知不覺中已被時間推著向前走,這不是靜止火車裡,與相鄰列車交錯時,彷彿自己在前進的錯覺,而是我們真實的在成長,在這件事裡成了另一個自己。

家庭Family這個詞意味著什麼嗎?家庭FAMILY是爸(Father)和(And)媽(Mother)、我I愛Love你You。“愛”的中英文雙解:Love愛=Listen傾聽+Obligate感恩+Valued尊重+Excues寬恕。

咖啡苦與甜,不在於怎麼攪拌,而在於是否放糖;一段傷痛,不在於怎麼忘記,而在於是否有勇氣 重新開始。 為什麼要那麼痛苦地忘記一個人,時間自然會使你忘記。如果時間不可以讓你忘記不應該記住的人,我們失去的歲月又有甚麼意義?

吵架時為什麼會大聲?原因是,當兩個人相互憤怒的時候,他們的心和心相距很遠;為了填補這段距離,他們必須呼喊,這樣彼此才能聽到。他們越是憤怒,心和心距離則越是遙遠,於是,他們只有越發強力呼喊,他們彼此才能聽到。反過來,也是戀愛時為什麼喃喃低語的原因。

從正面看,是偉大的神(God);從反面看,是卑鄙小人(dog)。其實,人們所犯的罪惡(evil),反過來,正是為了活著(live)。——換個角度很多事情便不一樣 同時追兩隻兔子的人,一隻也不會逮到。不要貪圖無所不有,否則你將一無所有;不要試圖無所不知,否則你將一無所知;不要企圖無所不能,否則你將一無所能。

View original post

Relaxed

I am finally here to write another blog, I accomplished my goal tonight, which I told you about – to relax!! I read Ecclesiastes again and found:

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and rink, and find satisfaction in all their oil – this is the gift of God. (3:12-13)

It’s so encouraging…and it gives me a lot of peace to know that God wants us to enjoy our time here. Yes it sucks that we have to work to make a living and we can’t just do whatever want, but at the same time we bought that upon ourselves through sin. But God still loves us – I think one of the biggest blessings is to just be able to ENJOY the people we have around us, friends…families, and our jobs too.

I’m surprised – when I first moved in I was quite intimidated about the whole idea of having to take care of a house and do all these chores. Since Oakville is further away from everything, I thought “oh man there’s NO way I’ll have time to do things anymore…when I barely had enough time in Mississauga, I”ll never have enough time in Oakville”. But thanks to God’s grace, he’s somehow allowed me to HAVE time, in fact every night now I have time to sit in bed and read…the bible or that book about sacred marriage. I have no idea how but it works!

Oh and I wanted to say thanks to you =P I know a lot of times I rant and complain and blab on about irrelevant things. But deep inside I am really thankful and grateful that God gave us each other to rely on ^^ Friendships are such awesome, valuable things =D Deep down inside I also know that God has really blessed both of us and I’m uber thankful for that. I’ll keep praying for you!!

世界說,上帝說

世界說:如果你很成功,別人會來服事你      上帝說:如果你真的成功了,就要服事人
世界說:為今日而活               上帝說:為永恒而活
世界說:我愛你,因為你...          上帝說:我愛你,雖然你...
世界說:不可能做到的              上帝說:在我凡事都能
世界說:只要親眼看見,我就相信         上帝說:那沒有看見就信的有福了
世界說:相信你的直覺              上帝說:傾聽聖靈在你裡面微小的聲音
世界說:真理是相對的              上帝說:我就是真理,永不改變
世界說:承諾守不了               上帝說:絕對不會違背我的應許
世界說:愛是一種感覺              上帝說:愛是一個決定
世界說:要走自己的路              上帝說:來跟從我
世界說:言語不能傷害我們            上帝說:生死都在舌头的權下
世界說:沒有人能知道未來            上帝說:你的未來在我手中
世界說:外表最重要               上帝說:人看重外表,我看重內心
世界說:基督徒是偽君子             上帝說:基督徒只是蒙恩的罪人
世界說:你不可以相信任何人           上帝說:你可以永遠信賴我
世界說:你只能靠自己努力成功          上帝說:找到我造你的目的你就成功了
世界說:人不都一樣?              上帝說:你是我獨特的創造
世界說:神是不可知的              上帝說:我已藉我的獨生愛子–耶穌基督向你顯明我自己
世界說:你天生如此               上帝說:你可以重生
世界說:我們不能改變過去            上帝說:你能用過去改變未來
世界說:你有享受自由的權利           上帝說:你能自由的去做對的事
世界說:善良的人總是墊後            上帝說:在我眼里,善良的人總是第一
世界說:不會有人知道的             上帝說:我洞悉萬事
世界說:千萬不要放手              上帝說:放手吧
世界說:你不為自己爭,沒人會為你爭的      上帝說:與你相爭的,我必與他相爭
世界說:生命是進化而來的            上帝說:生命是我創造的
世界說:我不再愛你了,離婚吧          上帝說:愛是一個決定,婚姻乃是一生之久
世界說:那只是个胚胎,還不是人         上帝說:你未在母腹時,我已認識你了
世界說:信仰是個人的事             上帝說:你是世上的光和鹽
世界說:先同居吧,不需靠一張紙証明我們的愛   上帝說:沒有委身就不是愛
世界說:要讓每個人看見你所做的善行       上帝說:要默默行善,我必獎賞你
世界說:一錯再錯,反正上帝會原諒你       上帝說:悔改吧,不要再犯了

As I stand here…

February 16th, 2012 – the night before we get the keys to our first home.

What a night – I can only imagine how I’m going to feel at the eve of my wedding day. But that’s too far away. But then again, it wasn’t that long ago that I thought February 17th was too far away. And look, it’s <24 hours away now.I feel like I should be excited, because of the fact that God has blessed us with such a place to call home. But, being the worry-wort that I am, I was actually feeling quite a bit of anxiety at work. My coworkers noticed how emo I was, and my brain was just…not there. I was short fused and irritable. Even to Darwin, I got so angry because he couldn’t find a locksmith. Such a simple task. UGH – I might as well do it myself!! > : (

Then I reminded myself (or rather, God reminded me), of Matthews 6. Do not worry. As simple as that. The grass in the fields don’t do anything yet God nurtures them. Here today, gone tomorrow – yet God still takes care of them. The birds and the animals don’t do anything, yet God provides for them. The flowers don’t spin yet Soloman dressed in all his glory did not compare to one of these. How much more precious are we?

It must be one of the most “basic” verses in the bible. But at the same time, such a “Basic” concept and being a Christian for years – I still struggle with it. Earlier in the week I was worrying about setting up everything, finding the best prices to get carpets cleaned, booking the Bell technician to come in. I was stressed but I didn’t feel the urge to really lift it all up to God (sure after I while I did get frustrated and asked God to help me find a carpet cleaner lol). But as far as I’m concerned, I still had control. No need to worry, if anything I’ll just end up paying a bit more money. Not the end of the world.

So why AM i so stressed out tonight? Well because today, after confirming all the appointments for the weekend and figuring out the logistics of moving. A sudden thought hit me. Nobody could guarantee that we’re ACTUALLY going to get keys tomorrow. SURE the closing date is SUPPOSE to be tomorrow…finally the one thing that I had absolutely no control over – our lawyer and the process of physically getting keys.

@_@

We had asked the lawyer if it’s certain we will get keys tomorrow. She said it wont’ be till after 3. Darwin explained to me that its like a lineup. If the guy in front of us gets delayed, we get delayed. And I can only imagine that if we get TOO delayed, we’ll just get pushed off the line altogether. I doubt the lawyer is going to stay past the working hours to get us keys…

And then what? Monday is a holiday (Family day), I had already arranged my vacation…what do if tomorrow afternoon the lawyer calls us and says “sorry we had some delays in processing, the bank’s closed now. You’ll have to wait until Tuesday to get the keys”.

I don’t know – I think i’m just going to cry. Simply because we’ve waited for this day for so long. Planned for it so intricately, and it can all go “poof” and leave us with nothing. What do I do then???

So easy to say don’t worry…but there’s no OFF button for me. Please pray for me when you read this =( Just pray that it’ll work out in God’s way. Pray that I have the obedience to wait on him. Pray that I have the trust to stop worrying. Pray that God will provide for us. He’s taken us all this way – I KNOW he won’t forsake us.

Seven things that you can only do on earth

It’s been too long since I’ve blogged. In order to not make this place feel too deserted I’m gonna share some of the stuff I write in my devotion notebook. This is from French daily bread on February 7th. I translated it into Chinese (not too hard since most of it is Bible verses lol).

有人覺得生命是一個又一個的慣例程序。他們想事奉神,但卻不知道該從何做起。一位沮喪的女士對我說:“我開始渴望回天家,因為起碼我知道在那裡,我是有用的!”她讀過啟示錄22章,而以下的一句話讓她印象深刻:“。。。他的僕人都要事奉他。”(啟示錄22:3)

我想分享一下的一個列表,關於七件我們只能在世上做的事:

1 – 愛你的仇敵,並為他們禱告。“可是我告訴你們,當愛你們的仇敵,為迫害你們的祈禱。”馬太福音5:44

2 – 憑信心生活,而非眼光。“因為我們行事是憑著信心,不是憑著眼見。”哥林多後書5:7

3 – 為愛主而忍受試探。“能忍受試煉的人,是有福的;因為他經過考驗之後,必得著生命的冠冕,這冠冕是主應許給愛他的人的。”雅各書1:12

4 – 在愛裡彼此扶持。“弟兄們,你們蒙召得了自由,只是不可把這自由當作放縱情慾的機會,總要憑著愛心互相服事。”加拉太書5:13

5 – 積聚天上的財寶。“不可為自己在地上積聚財寶,因為地上有蟲蛀,有鏽侵蝕,也有賊挖洞來偷。要為自己積聚財寶在天上,那裡沒有蟲蛀鏽蝕,也沒有賊挖洞來偷。”馬太福音6:19-20

6 – 向迷失的人傳福音。“所以,你們要去使萬民作我的門徒,奉父子聖靈的名,給他們施洗,我吩咐你們的一切,都要教導他們遵守。這樣,我就常常與你們同在,直到這世代的終結。”馬太福音28:19-20

7 – 運用屬靈恩賜。“照著所賜我們的恩典,我們各有不同的恩賜:說預言的,就應當照著信心的程度去說;服事人的,就應當照著恩賜去服事;教導的,就應當照著恩賜教導;勸慰的,就應當照著恩賜勸慰,把財物分給人的要真誠;領導的要殷勤;行善的要樂意。”羅馬書12:6-8

當然,這不是全部,但卻適當地提醒我們神希望我們以怎樣的方式在這個世上活著,以及他給我們的旨意。

我們是否想知道神希望我們如何事奉他?瞭解神在你生命中所給的旨意,最好的方法就是順服聖經當中清清楚楚顯明神旨意的話語。

Good at something?

You know, sometimes we’re arrogant without even realizing it, and it’s scary. It’s when confidence – or what you THOUGHT was confidence – turns into arrogance that we notice it the least, and it grows within your heart slowly but gradually, and in the end devours you unsuspectingly like a trap.

I’ve always been told that I’m patient. In fact, a couple of years ago (I sound old) when I was dealing with housing issues with Jason, Jason was being slightly (trying to be euphemistic) whiny at the WOCH and it took forever to finish what could have been dealt with in half an hour. The entire time I sat there without saying a word, and I remember the WOCH lady saying to me something like, “You have insurmountable patience.” And I thought, “Hmm, maybe I do, LOL.”

If there’s a gene for patience, then it came from my dad, and I thought, it made sense. So for a long time I believed that patience was one of my strengths and I was pretty proud of it. What I didn’t realize was that the more we thought we are good at something, the more we need to practise it. Then I thought I could sit patiently through everything that I have to deal with, that I could wait patiently through any trial that God gives me.

Well obviously I overestimated myself and underestimated God’s trials and failed miserably, LOL. Trials are called trials for a reason. If everyone sails through them like a breeze, then we’d all be perfect. Just when you think you’ve learned your lesson and you’re totally set to face any new situation with your “skills”, God tells you, “OH NO, you’re not as ready as you think. Here I’ll show you.” And then you get struck with a blow that wakes you up and makes you realize that you can never be completely “ready” for anything, that things like patience are a constant, life-long lesson that must be continuously HONED through everything we experience. There is nothing to boast about, other than our weaknesses, other than God’s ability, which is made perfect in our weaknesses.

It’s the same thing with courage, something I’ve had to struggle with lately. I noticed that you, as well as some of my lady friends, say things like “You’re so brave”. LOL. In the face of these compliments it’s easy to admit and say to myself, “Yeah I’m pretty awesome”, then forget to be humble. I said once, “I’m not as brave as you imagine me to be.” It may be because of the things I say, or the way I put up a face in front of other people that make them think I’m “strong”, but sometimes I really want to break down and cry in the company of someone if I had the chance (I would totally have, if you were here :D)

But then, while I shouldn’t BOAST about these qualities, I still do think God wants me to put them to use while honing them. Certainly, things like patience and courage are gifts from God, and in fact everyone has different traits and qualities that are clearly seen as strengths. We should be thankful for these characters that God has given us when He created us, and learn how to utilize them in serving God and in our daily lives. That’s my little reflection of the day 😀

%d bloggers like this: