I shall revive our blog! With a post confessing some grudges that’s been in my heart lately. I am amazed at how “siu hey” i can be sometimes – and more amazing at how God can forgive without holding grudges at all.

With the wedding being 80 days away – I guess I’m starting to realize that Darwin’s family will soon by my family too. Totally not use to the idea of thinking about his mom as my “lai lai”. We’ve had our differences in the past few years as you know, but I’m sometimes irritated by her comments still. As much as i don’t want the classic mother & daughter in law difficult relationship with Darwin caught in the middle, I’m afraid that’s where we’re headed – unless I can open my heart up to God and ask for him to teach me how to put down my grudges (run on sentence lol).

In my heart, I remember how when we were in 2nd and 3rd year – my parents had gone back to China and I had nowhere to really stay in when I went back “home” on the weekends. I had my grandma (that I don’t get along well with – that’s for another post really) who was renting a room in someone’s house. I came back really just to see Darwin, and she kept insisting about how “inappropriate” it was for me to stay at her house (despite the fact that there were many beds available and it was only for 2 nights at most). I’ve probably already ranted to you about this, but as you can see its’ still on my heart. Then when Jeff’s girlfriend turns up she opens her doors and invites her to stay over because her home was too far away. -_____-” Yes I am siu hey, see I am holding grudges. Secretly I say to myself I will never ever stay over at her place in my life – and nor will Darwin after we get married.

And lately she’s been trying to invite the world to our wedding (with a super limited seating of 150 at the banquet). Darwin and I had finalized the guest list and printed names on the invites accordingly. I’m sorry but she can’t just include whoever she wants or adjust the guest list. This is as much my wedding as it is Darwin’s wedding, and for some reason we are already inviting her boss & her boss’s husband/wife whom I’ve never met before – why??

It’s extremely frustrating. I am as angry at myself as I am angry with her. If that makes any sense. @_@