You know how people always say, money hurts relationships? And how in a relationship you’re not suppose to let money get in the way of two people?

Well, just to give you a heads up – money can really be a huge issue between 2 people, and I can totally see how money can become a wedge between relationships. Hear me rant, but please pray that God gives me wisdom, patience, and to help me get rid of my bitterness (and partly, selfishness).

OK, so money. As you know, Darwin and his family are not very well off. Recently, Darwin and I joined bank accounts together…since the house is under both our names, it really only makes sense to financially join in order to stop having to transfer money all over the place. Makes sense, it makes things more efficient.When our parents sat down together shortly after we got engaged, one of the “rules” my parents set was that if Darwin was going to take money out of our account and give it to his family, then we need to give the same amount of $ back to my parents. This isn’t because my parents are trying to use us a money tree, but they just wanted it to be fair. Because the money that he brings home, it’s partially my money as well, and vice versa.

So in the midst of a careful budget to make sure we can actually pay for all the expenses in 2012 (ie. house and wedding costs), WITHOUT the help of our parents, we had very very little money left over. Basically it’s really tight, and to be honest I thought not ASKING for his parents to give US money should already be a relief to them.

So today, when Darwin told me that he gave his parents $200 for the month, I felt kind of bitter in my heart. Why? Well because he didn’t even bring up the idea of giving MY family $200, even though he knows it’s the “rule”, until I brought it up. When I did, he just said “OK fine give your parents $200”. Okay…except can we really afford to be $400 short this month? Not really…plus it’s my dad’s bday at the end of the month and we were going to take our family out for a nice dinner, which was going to cost like $200 for the 5 of us. So why am I upset? Well, when he gave the $200 for his family did he realize that it’s actually $400 that he has to pitch out? Like maybe we need to portion it evenly, so becomes $100 per family? We settled that next time if we’re giving money to family we need to notify the other person first, NOT state it so matter-of-factly AFTER the fact.

And no we cannot afford to give away $400 every month. Darwin says this month can be an exception because it’s Christmas. Fine. But I hope he realizes that we have no wiggle room in the budget anymore.


I don’t get it!!! Oh and I missed out on an important point – his parents ASKED Darwin for the money. Do they seriously think we’re just like SOOOOO RICH??? When everyone else gets married, parents PAY for most of the wedding. It’s already stressful trying to make ends meet on OUR OWN. Thank you for not helping with the burden but adding to it instead.

I don’t even know why I’m so pissed off. SIGHHHHH