Darwin and I went to see Pastor James on Friday (our premartial counselor), and was surprised when we asked him how many “sessions” we have left in the program, and he actually said we “finished” the curriculum a few sessions ago! But he was still spending time with us just out of wanting to mentor and teach us more about marriage and relationship. Well, to begin with he had no obligations to actually spend any time with us, since we’re technically not members of his church. I was really touched by his sincerity, and just his heart and passion for God’s ministry, and the gift that God has given him – to guide new families in God’s word.

 

At that moment I just thought of how many other people God had placed in my life…who has in one way or another been a huge blessing to me. Friends from highschool to university (including you LOL, huge blessing 😉 ), to church brothers and sisters, family, coworkers…people who have helped me out just out of the goodness of their hearts. I wish I could be more appreciative, more thankful =)

 

An interesting thing that Pastor James brought up with us last night was the idea of “marriage expectations”. In fact it was the area that he felt could be a potential “concern” in our future marriage. Interestingly enough, I had been pretty upset about this problem with Darwin last year. The fact that I felt “disappointed” because he wasn’t meeting MY “expectations”, and as a result it became a big burden between us, and damaged the relationship.

 

Pastor James point – it’s good to have expectations of ourselves (ie. I want to be a better ______ to someone), but to have unrealistically  high expectations of our spouse is dangerous. Not to go into too much detail, but I find this to be so true. So often we like to have such high expectations of OTHER people, but what our ourselves? How many times have we read the bible and used it to criticize someone (even in our heads)? But that’s not the way God intended us to use the bible, not as a big stick to whack other people with. I’m guilty of that to be honest. A lot of times I’ll read verses (or other materials), and think “see Darwin should do that, the bible says so, fail”. But how come I can’t criticize myself?

 

Next lesson is about SILENCE – which I think will be interesting because I have a really tough time getting my brain to shut up. Even when I’m “praying” or “meditating”, my mind wanders and I start thinking about unrelated things. Despite how Jesus was really busy too, he ALWAYS made time to be quiet in front of God.

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