I need to organize the crap on my desk. It’s so messed up that I don’t even know where to find things anymore. And my lab book is so outdated. Gah. PhD life is finally somewhat starting to feel real. Hectic, busy, overwhelming. And I like it.

It’s this kind of busy that makes me feel alive and not wasting time. I know I say that I don’t want to stay here any longer, but that’s only because January is coming up and I had in mind some “stuff” to do towards the end of the month. Oh, and the flight and accommodation thing too, of course. If it were any other month, perhaps I wouldn’t mind it as much. I enjoy working here very much, I really do.

Though you know, sometimes I think I’m trying too hard to take things into my own hands, to finish everything on time so I can actually go back in peace. I’ve been planning and planning, fitting everything in my schedule, ASSUMING that everything will go according to the master plan. Of course, everything goes wrong. No aluminium paper for the imprint. Mould problems. Silanization station hogging (which happens to be me). Descum appointments uncertain. Re-silanization of moulds required. Gah. I need to learn to take things one step at a time. Right now we see if there’s any news about the paper. If yes, then I have to consider silanizing the moulds during the weekend so I can do massive imprinting on Monday. If not, then…I don’t know. Also, we need to see if I can actually get something on the P190 mould and if I have time to produce enough samples. Then we see how the Skype meeting goes on Monday and it’ll alllllllllllll be put together then…somehow.

Things eventually work out. If I have to stay in Belgium in January, then tant pis. It will be really something to “accept”.

Today I truly “worked” with my supervisor for the first time, and by that I mean I saw him perform an experiment on the XRR. I’ve always wanted to see supervisors actually do lab work; it’s just so…intriguing and it confirms that they were once students as well, hehe. Ramya said the same thing about Rob when I was at UHN, and I guess that’s how the curiosity came about. Anyway, watching Alain work was indeed quite a “wow” experience because he actually knows what he’s doing the entire time. Great stuff, sir.

To end the entry, I just want to note that there are times (e.g. now) when I just need someone to TALK with. I don’t care if it’s mindless talk; ANY kind of talk is okay. I need someone to keep me sane and remind me that I’m still alive.

Then again, I’ve found reassurance during this crazy week of work. You enjoy your work when you’re okay with being busy. You enjoy your work when you look forward to the challenge of planning. You enjoy your work when you find a tiny tingle in your heart as you learn something new at work (like today at SEM). You enjoy your work when you’re smiling, maybe subconsciously, while you work. I think I still enjoy my work, thank God.